The All-Too-Familiar Silence
Let’s set the scene. You match with someone on Hinge. The banter is top-tier. Their prompts are witty, your answers are charming, and the conversation flows from WhatsApp to late-night phone calls faster than a Mumbai local at peak hour. You’ve planned a date at that new cafe in Bandra everyone’s raving about. You’re excited. You feel a flicker of hope.
And then… nothing.
The delivered ticks remain stubbornly blue. Your last message, a perfectly casual “Looking forward to it!”, hangs in the digital void, unanswered. Days turn into a week. You’ve been ghosted. Again.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. For countless Indian millennials and Gen Z navigating the treacherous waters of modern dating, this isn’t just a one-off disappointment. It’s a recurring trauma, a pattern so pervasive it’s creating what many are calling “Ghosting PTSD.”
What Is ‘Ghosting PTSD’?
Let’s be clear: this term is not meant to diminish clinical Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a serious and debilitating condition. Instead, “Ghosting PTSD” has become a powerful shorthand for the very real anxiety, hyper-vigilance, and emotional exhaustion that comes from being repeatedly abandoned by potential partners without explanation.
The silence of a ghoster is deafening, and it leaves behind a psychological residue that affects how we approach dating moving forward. It manifests in several distinct ways.
The Symptoms of Dating Trauma
1. Hyper-Vigilance and Text-Anxiety
You find yourself over-analysing every text message. “They took two hours to reply, is it over?” “They used a period instead of an emoji, are they mad?” The phone, once a tool for connection, becomes a source of anxiety. Every notification is a potential judgment; every silence is a potential abandonment.
2. The Self-Doubt Spiral
Ghosting offers no closure, no explanation. It’s a rejection without a reason, which forces our brains to fill in the blanks—and we almost always fill them with the worst-case scenarios about ourselves. Was I not funny enough? Did I say something weird? Am I just not attractive enough? It’s a direct hit to our self-esteem, making us feel disposable and unworthy.
3. Building Emotional Armor
After being ghosted enough times, you start building walls. It’s a natural defense mechanism. You become hesitant to be vulnerable, to show genuine interest, or to get your hopes up. You enter new interactions with a cynical, defensive posture, expecting them to disappear at any moment. This self-preservation tactic, while understandable, can sabotage the very connection you’re seeking.
Why Is Ghosting So Common in Today’s Dating Scene?
The architecture of dating apps is a major contributor. The endless carousel of profiles creates a paradox of choice and a sense of disposability. People are reduced to a collection of pictures and prompts that can be swiped away with zero consequence or accountability.
In a world of infinite options, direct confrontation feels uncomfortable. For many, it’s simply easier to vanish than to send a polite but difficult message like, “Hey, I had a nice time, but I don’t feel a romantic connection.”
How to Heal and Break the Cycle
There’s no easy fix for this collective dating trauma, but healing begins with shifting our perspective and actions.
Reframe the Rejection
First, internalize this: a person’s decision to ghost you is a reflection of their poor communication skills, not a verdict on your worth. It says everything about their character and nothing about yours. Acknowledge the hurt, but refuse to let it define your value.
Be the Change You Want to See
We can combat this toxic culture by refusing to participate in it. Let’s practice ‘conscious uncoupling’ even at the earliest stages. A simple, “Thanks for the chat, but I don’t think we’re a match” text takes 30 seconds to write and can save someone weeks of anxiety. In a dating scene plagued by silent exits, a little kindness and clear communication can feel nothing short of revolutionary.
We might not be able to stop others from ghosting, but we can certainly choose not to be ghosts ourselves.
