‘I Opened Up Like a Giant Elevator’: The Seven Sly, Savage Stages of a £100,000 Romance Scam
In today’s digital dating landscape, where swipes replace chance encounters and DMs serve as courtship, romance scams have become a predator’s playground. One victim, a 52-year-old London entrepreneur (who wishes to remain anonymous), lost £100,000 to a scammer who exploited her emotions with chilling precision. Her story exposes the seven ruthless stages of a modern romance scam—a playbook so cunning, it’s devastatingly effective.
Stage 1: The Perfect Match
It started on a premium dating app, where her scammer, posing as “Daniel,” a wealthy Dubai investor, mirrored her interests flawlessly. His profile was a masterclass in deception: tailored suits, yacht photos, and a bio that radiated stability. “He quoted Rumi in his first message,” she recalls. “I thought, finally, someone who understands me.”
Stage 2: The Slow Build
Daniel avoided suspicion by never rushing. For weeks, their conversations were a carefully crafted dance—deep discussions about life, childhood memories, and future dreams. He sent voice notes with a soothing voice but avoided video calls, blaming “poor Wi-Fi at his offshore project.” By the time he mentioned financial trouble (a delayed client payment), she was already hooked.
Stage 3: The Emergency Lever
The first request was modest: £2,000 for a fictional niece’s medical bill. “He sounded so ashamed,” she says. When he “repaid” her (with a fake wire transfer screenshot), her trust soared. This was the trap snapping shut.
Stage 4: The Grand Crisis
With credibility secured, Daniel escalated. His “business partner” supposedly stole funds, leaving him stranded. She sent £25,000 to “unfreeze assets,” then £40,000 for “legal fees.” Each demand came with forged documents, fake lawyer emails, and emotional midnight calls. “I felt like his only hope,” she admits.
Stage 5: The Guilt Bomb
When she hesitated, Daniel weaponized guilt. “After all we’ve shared, I didn’t think you’d abandon me,” he texted. He manipulated her into feeling like she was the unreliable one—classic emotional abuse, digitized.
Stage 6: The Vanishing Act
After draining her savings, Daniel disappeared. His profile vanished; calls went unanswered. Only then did she Google “romance scam templates” and found identical scripts on fraud forums. The worst part? “Daniel” was likely a team of scammers working together.
Stage 7: The Aftermath
Banks rarely recover funds sent offshore. The victim, now in therapy, says the shame is “worse than the financial loss.” Romance scams cost UK victims £1 billion last year (UK Finance), yet stigma keeps many silent.
How to Spot a Romance Scam
- Love bombing: Excessive affection early on.
- Avoiding video calls: “My camera’s broken” is a major red flag.
- Financial emergencies: No genuine partner asks for money.
- Pressure tactics: Urgent demands (“Transfer by tonight!”) signal fraud.
The Harsh Reality
These scams exploit a universal longing: to be loved. As the victim reflects, “I opened up like a giant elevator, and he walked right in.” The lesson? In online dating, trust should be earned—not given freely.
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